I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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