Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize