I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
