It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
