the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
