You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize