you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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