I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
