My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
