Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
