I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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