i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
