some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
