my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
