no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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