After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
