I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
