You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize