i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
birth control should be required to get into college
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
