dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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