oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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