Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
