Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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