If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
