Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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