guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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