how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
