Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
