2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
