No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
