U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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