And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
