So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize