I wish they made helmets for livers.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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