The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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