oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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