I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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