butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
