we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
even my farts smell like vagina
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
