and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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