Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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