Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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