Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize