Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize