i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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