Cold hands, warm shart.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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