cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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