Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
