There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
