Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
