i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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