This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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