i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize