porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
