sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just pee around me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
