You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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