girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't think brook has ever known best
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think I just sharted jello shots
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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