Me. At least after what I've been through.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
