i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
