Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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