He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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