I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
