I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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