If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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