I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
